A Man for Myself
(the boy)

Your latest crisis I cannot keep count.
I (your man) hear your voice and obey the call of social custom.
Your mind occult of the obvious solution.
Ceaselessly, I (your man) move to defuse your every worry,
Listen to your every distress,
Guiding you with cogent advice.

But wait a crisis unforeseen descends upon me.
I (your man) reaches towards you...
Hearing your voice, but it offers no assurance.
Hearing your words, but they offer no advice.
Seeing your lips, but they move not to kiss my dismay.
Your broken hands idle, your eyes furthermore occult.

Your absence of succor throws me.
Your essence of you vexes my tormented self.
I cannot try any longer...
I am so weary of trying.
But, I have nothing better to do...
I need someone to look after me.

Through the temporal reflection, I see myself.
Days long gone (as a boy), principles vanished.
I was so strong, I was so convinced.
How the hatred would build of my present specter.
I am but an unrecognizable shell.
My glory was so long ago... what has replaced it?

Why not give myself my own advice?
Why not make the right decisions for myself?
Why not repair the damage Ive done to my own life?
Why not reclaim the glory of my past?
Why not crush the weaknesses within my body?
Why not ruin the apathy of my life?

I must prevent my own destruction.
I must permit my own happiness.
I must make the proper choices in my own life.
I must always stand for what I believe in.

I must be a Man for myself.


1996-2001 by Joel Mathew Hegberg